NLPCoaching.com Contest 2015

From Fear to Excitement

Early in 2014, I was having a conversation with a friend of mine called Samer Chidiac during one of the ˜Speed Coaching Mondays’, a monthly event where a group of coaches in training, get the chance to practice their newly learned skills, meet clients, and get more coaching hours to achieve certification. Along with that conversation, I mentioned to Samer, that I am satisfied with my goals. He mentioned the following quote, “If your goals don’t scare you they are not big enough.” My instant reply was “No not really, my goals don’t scare me and I am going after what I want.” At the time I was working at a job that was very far from what I wanted to do, and just spending a small portion of my time actually following my goals and dreams, and I was convincing myself that I was satisfied with the way my life was going.

Moving forward to the end of 2014, I finally mustered up the guts to dive into my dream of becoming a full time coach and trainer in the field of personal development, left Dubai and came back to Beirut to start my own business. Throughout the past 15 months I surprised myself with all that I had achieved, whether it was training 1000+ people, or coaching more than 100 people to achieve their goals and dreams, or even the personal physical transformation of getting fit and healthy, shedding 30 kilograms and being in the best shape of my life. This drew a smile on my face and got me to think of the following question: “If I have done that in less than 15 months, what else can I achieve in 2016?”

I sat down, got a piece of paper and dissected my two main goals to the smallest detail and started brainstorming on what’s next for me. After three long hours of thoughts and planning and having everything laid out in front of me, a feeling kicked in that I had not felt in a long time, and it was no other than fear and the thought : “How the hell am I going to do this?”

The thought after that got me to think of the last 5 years of my life, and the rollercoaster life that I had been undergoing in all aspects. I remembered one specific moment back early in 2011, where I was browsing Face book and checking out the profiles of a lot of my fellow high school graduates. As I browsed account after account, all I could see was success, achieving a degree that they wanted, got married, moved to the country of their dreams, or even opened their own business. Whilst I was just out of a very long term relationship, in a job that I considered not for me, lonely, with no financial security what so ever, completely unhealthy and overweight, having a very few amount of friends, and down and depressed. Life was a mess and I had no clue what to do next, and the question back then was “What now?”

Life is funny in the sense of how things take shape if you just muster the courage of going forward towards what you want, and that is what I did, going from one to job to another, one relationship to another, trying to find myself in jobs or in others, until in 2013 I found myself studying NLP & Coaching in Dubai, at the same school one of my mentors had studied in. I had prepared to go the whole summer of 2013, to find what I wanted to find, which was in my mind, still outside of me. To my surprise, all that I needed, was right where it should be, with me, in my mind and heart. Life does not become easier, you become better, and that is by feeling whatever you are feeling and doing it anyway!!

I learned that, at one point in your life, you either have all the results you want, or have all of the excuses of why you don’t. Life is a matter of cause and effect, and you either are in control of your mind and its flexibility, and you are just a pawn of circumstances and their effect on you, being a victim of life and just whining about it.

Back to the question of “How the hell am I going to do this?” and the simple answer is by doing IT! Fear is a feeling based on a secondary gain that is usually security, or comfort. We enjoy the fact of where we are, protecting ourselves from shining, growing and achieving. In the background of our unconscious mind there is a voice that sometimes goes on and on of how we Can’t, Shouldn’t, Must NOT! Although it means well, it is just a bunch of excuses for not becoming a better us. Always remember that you do your best, every day, with all you can, and the next day you can learn and do better. As much as you work on impressing others, you will never fit their model of the world. The only model of the world you know and act upon is your own, always work on that, fulfilling your own Values, Passion, and Life Purpose. Learning NLP, Time Line Therapy®, Hypnosis and NLP Coaching gave me the tools to know myself better, and to improve myself on all levels.

Focusing on how to constantly focus on being a better me, and you know what, I am going to achieve all that I am planning to achieve in 2016. By converting that old feeling of fear into excitement and drive to consistently grow, and helping others to grow along with me.

As Helen Keller says: “Life is either a daring adventure or nothing at all!” and that is my motto in 2016 and beyond.

About the Author: Roni F. Matar

After getting his BS in Biology, Roni Matar spent the first 7 years of his working life in sales, from Medical Equipment to Life Insurance and Training. After that, he made a shift in his career to self-development, and got his Master Practitioner of NLP, Time Line Therapy®, Hypnosis and NLP Coaching Certifications from the American Board Of NLP (ABNLP), and started working as a soft skills trainer & productivity coach, working with individuals and groups who want to achieve, have, and be more of what they want to be in life. If you want to learn more about Roni, go here.