Relationships

A well-known fact is that number one issue damaging relationships is communication (actually miscommunication) as well as sex – whether it is fulfilling for both, or even there at all.

We assume that if we talk and explain ourselves to others, all is good. They will understand us and it surely must be their fault for not getting what we’re trying to communicate.

But sometimes people don’t talk very much and they feel misunderstood—even hurt and maybe resentful.

It is very easy for frustration to settle in and before you know it, bitterness and a “go-away” feeling comes as well. People feel “attracted” to others who have a more understanding attitude, and this can happen not only physically, but also mentally, emotionally, and even spiritually. The result is always painful as relationships tend to break down, and jealousy and resentment arise only to further complicate the issue.

What does this say from the NLP perspective, and can we do something to prevent this from happening?

From the basic NLP Practitioner Training, we learn about the meaning of words. We might be tempted to think that everyone attaches the same meaning to one word. For example, something as common as the word love will have a different meaning for different people. If you ask ten people to give you five words that in their minds mean “love,” you’re very lucky to find one that’s common to all ten.

Negative Anchors are significant moments where the negative emotional state is linked to a stimulus which can be a visual (a certain facial expression), tonality of voice, or a specific touch of someone or something. In NLP we can get rid of those so people can be left only with positive anchors. This process is called Collapse Anchors.

Another big issue straining relationships is what in NLP is called wrong Love Strategies. Everyone has their own way of knowing they are loved. When people get together in relationships, they fulfill everything the potential partner wants. But an unknown fact is that we do have our own love strategies which are different from person to person.

In the NLP Practitioner Training, we learn how to elicit strategies - which means to discover what our own individual love strategies are (or any other strategy like the decision-making strategy) and then know how to use them in the context of relationships.

In the NLP Master Practitioner Training we discover MetaPrograms, which are unconscious filters by which we literally “filter” our experience. The same external experience will be unlike “the other’s.” Nothing is wrong with either one. They’re just different. By understanding how people filter the meaning of a conversation, or an action, or behavior, many misunderstandings can be avoided without prejudice, judgment, or negativity.

NLP Master Practitioner Training has several sections on Values. Misaligned Values is another big and extremely important factor that could make or break a relationship. Not everybody has the same values, although everybody has values. The problem is when values of a couple (or even of a team of people) are different. Values are mostly unconscious filters by which we gauge our life experiences. In the NLP Master Practitioner Training, we discover how to elicit values in relationships, and even more, how to align those values. Conflicts "magically" disappear, understanding and meaningful communication return, and sexual relationships become fulfilled.

In Time Line Therapy® Master Practitioner Training, the Relationships Paradigm is a major technique which puts together the other techniques assisting couples who have trouble to rekindle their relationships.

In the Time Line Therapy® Master Practitioner Training, all the negative emotions accumulated during days, weeks, or maybe even years of unhappy relationships are eliminated, thus leaving people only with positive emotions.

Meaningful communications and sex are some of the main issues that could plague a relationship. With the skills from NLP and Time Line Therapy®, people can change themselves and understand their partner without prejudice, blame, resentment, or guilt and from a completely new perception. Differences become attraction rather than struggle and change becomes development. In this way, the relationship can not only be rekindled, but further grow to a new level.