Overcoming Low Self Esteem Part 04 Interview
Interview with Tad James and Adriana James, Master Trainers of NLP, Master Trainers of Time Line Therapy® and NLP Coaching in Sydney, Australia
This is an interview that Tad and I did in Sydney, Australia. The theme of this interview was “How to overcome low self esteem, low confidence and feeling not good enough. The interviewer (for an Australian Magazine), wanted us to talk from the NLP and especially from the NLP Coaching point of view about what can we do in regard to this issue because in different measures many people suffer of low self esteem. Paradoxically, even some people who put up an air of self assurance, if it goes over the top it is probably because they hide a low self esteem.
INTERVIEWER – From your NLP expertise, what is so good about overcoming low self esteem?
You know that we strongly believe there is no better way to make an extraordinary life as well as making positive business changes than investing in yourself or by learning about yourself and how can you change for the betterâ€¦ by taking a NLP Coaching program, a neurolinguistic programming (NLP) training, or at least a weekend seminar.
There is a simple way to find out if you have low self esteem:
Have you ever been being harshly criticized even if you absolutely performed at your best?
Have you ever been yelled at, or even beaten?
Have you ever been being ignored, ridiculed or teased?
Have you been expected to be “perfect” all the time?
Have you experienced failures in sports or school, in love or career?
Have you ever felt like a failure relative to everyone else?
Or constantly doubting if you can achieve anything?
Or maybe you don’t like your looks – too fat, too slim, too short, too young, too oldâ€¦.
Are you dwelling in self-pity as a shield against the world?
Are you afraid of taking responsibility for changing your life?
Are you being negative – nothing is good, everything is terrible?
Do you remember hating to stand up in class at school to say something as you just froze and stood like no being sure what to say?
Are you on the surface acting always happy and successful, but inside you’re scared beyond belief that you could fail? Or that “they” will find out who or what you really are?
Are you living with constant anger about not feeling “good enough?” Are you continuously having to prove that people’s judgments and criticisms don’t matter to you?
Are you feeling helpless and unable to cope with life? Do you wait for someone to come to your rescue?
Are you feeling at times exhausted emotionally?
Are you fighting inside yourself with that critical and unforgiving part that badgers you and doesn’t give you a break?
How many times did you struggle meeting new people because you are not confident that you don’t look good and not even confident about who you are?
Most people suffer to some degree a lack of self-confidence. It’s a fact of life.
Now, you tell me what it would be worth to you to not feel that way any longer? To gain truly an inner feeling of:
Greater Social Confidence
Better Health & Vitality
Freedom from Fears & Negative Thoughts
Once you overcome low self-esteem you begin to be really yourself (not a shy, reclusive shadow of your own personality), even when you make mistakes. And when you respect yourself, other people respect you, too.
Having good self-esteem is also the ticket to making good choices in career, relationships. Healthâ€¦.
If you think you’re important, you’ll be less likely to follow the crowd if your friends are doing something dumb or simply not for you.
If you have good self-esteem, you know that you’re smart enough to make your own decisions. You feel safe, you value your feelings, your thinking, and your health, you value your freedom to think for yourself and make the right decisions for your life.
INTERVIEWER – Can you give us a little bit of background about how you got involved in helping people overcome low self esteem, and what led you to become such a great expert in the field?
I was doing business consulting and what I found was as we went to talk to the business owners…we were working with small to medium business size businesses…and I found that as we went in tot talk to business owners, a business owner that was not being successful many times had low self esteem. he was not confident that he can make sales even though he was the owner of the business. He was not confident that he could manage his employees well and so one of the things that became very important to us was improving someone’s self confidence. Actually clearing it up. Getting rid of those things which prevented him from being self confident in himself.
Well the thing is…I started differently because I came to Australia initially… a long time ago …and then when we got together we moved to the US and I was thinking what do people think about me? I did not know if I could open my mouth and say the right thing. And this was my experience…but all of a sudden i realized that “Yes i can!” but it did not happen overnight …it did not happen…
Well, let me share this with you…
There was once a very capable young person. She left her country with $50 DM in her pocket, two suitcases and a violin. No money, no family, no friends, no relativesâ€¦ not even knowing the language of the country where she ended up.
She cleaned toilets in a hotel to make money, while she slept on the floor for a while in a small rented apartment. She had for her own use $10/day .. this is how much was left after paying the monthly bills and then, when she begun earning 27 thousand dollars per year it was the greatest achievement of her life.
She was accused of being too ambitious because she wanted freedom and safety in her life; she was told she wasn’t good enough because she wasn’t a man, or from the right country, or from the right family.
And one day she learned about NLP and Time Line Therapy®. And right then and there her life, her whole life has changed completely and it’s been up-hill ever since.
I’ve been that person.
I realized that low self-esteem prevents you from being who you want to be or becoming what you want to become and decided that helping others was important to me as I was helping…. it is worth doing as a full time career so I dedicated my life to doing just this.
INTERVIEWER – What are the top 3 things that someone should know in order to be successful in overcoming low self esteem?
Low self esteem can have devastating consequences.
And create â€¦ anxiety, stress, feelings of loneliness and increased likelihood even for depression.
Think of it: if you have low self-esteem you may meet someone that turns out to be the best person in your life, the ideal person you will never meet again. But if you have low self-esteem you may not take any action, or do anything about it, and one day it’ll be too late.
It can cause problems with friendships and relationships. It can seriously impair education and job performance.
It can lead to underachievement and increased vulnerability to drug and alcohol abuse. And worst of all, these negative consequences themselves reinforce the negative self-image and can take a person into a downward spiral of lower and lower self esteem and increasingly non-productive or even actively self-destructive behavior.
Moreover you may have a high sense of self esteem in some areas of your life, but there may be other areas where your self esteem is lacking and you feel completely inadequate.
For many people, they may be very successful in their career, but love and relationships is an area where they feel totally and completely incompetent or even hopelessly inadequate.
What about intimacy? How many people have a very low self-esteem in what their intimate lives is concerned, even of professionally or even in the family life they seem to be functioning perfectly? Are you paranoid when your partner meets attractive and good looking people?
How many times your promotion passed by because you couldn’t stomach going to an interview for a job that was basically yours for the taking?
How many times you wondered if you really have anything to offer anyone else?
See it is not as simple as seeking the company of other positive people or taking control of your thoughts. It is not as simple as telling yourself that from now on you’re not going to read into someone else’s actions. It is not as simple as telling yourself that you will not feel awkward in silence any longer and that from now on you will not tell yourself that something must be wrong with you.
You need to know the specific process that makes the change in your Unconscious Mind so much so that you will forget you ever had low self-esteem.
That you’re in control of yourself and if you think you’re not, you just have not taken control yet.
That there is an easy fix and you can do it.
That we’re here for you and we can help as we helped thousands of other people around the world for more than 25 years.
INTERVIEWER – What is the best way to get started?
Well … let me give you the good news: the good news is that regardless of your past experience the promise of change is within your grasp. It is within everybody’s grasp.
The second good news is that this is not a fast-buck sell-it-quickâ€¦ and a worthless process. It has been tested successfully by thousands and thousands of peoples for more than 25 years with incredible success.
Whatever stage you are at in your life, these processes can radically help you achieve more. So it makes sense to want to learn more about the awesome benefits you can achieve with the tools offered here.
Whether you need assistance with your business, your relationships, or your life as a matter of fact, our Secret of Creating Your Future® Program and later on our NLP Coaching Practitioner Training, have unparalleled abilities that get right to the core of your blocks and erase them completely without spending a lot of time talking about them!
Not only is this approach unique and exciting, but it is based on tested and verified experience and it has been so successful that for more than 21 years thousands of people have used it to create massive change in their lives.
See, it is custom designed for you and your extremely busy life. It does not require a lot of time and effort.
And, while it has a no-nonsense approach to the process of improving massively your self-esteem, this seminar also has a track record of producing results with people of all backgrounds, lifestyles and experiences.
But you know what? It’s also fun. We know that fun, and excitement and “play” make this change much more possible for you to let go of everything that blocked you in the past!
This program is a perfect program for you at a fraction of the cost of our trainings.
Wellâ€¦. because we work directly with the Unconscious Mind, we know that change can occur in a very short time, almost an instant. Don’t think of how hard it is to change something consciously. Of course it is hard! Almost impossible. But when you make changes inside the Unconscious Mind, change is as quickly as immediate.
Change doesn’t have to be long, doesn’t have to be hard, orâ€¦ doesn’t have to be difficult. So that means that low self esteem can be cleared up on a weekend. Most of the people working on low self esteem have reported absolute success after only two days of seminar.
Here is a testimonial from our last NLP Coaching Practitioner Training which was only 7 days long.
“The appointment [with my client] lasted for 3 hours. This time the [negative] emotions did not disappear, we went up higher and farther back. “Each time were significant issues that were cleared and discovered. We did a mix of Time Line Therapy®, some Meta Model questions, and some spontaneous chunking up. [these are all NLP and Time Line Therapy® techniques]
“This short passage describes 3 hours, 10 pages of notes, and experiencing my friend of 15 years journey through amazing, significant breakthroughs, from using what I have learned at the NLP Practitioner course. To be able to be part of this transformation was a great gift to me, as well as him. May your lives be blessed as we have been blessed by your teachings, and by the assistance of the wonderful people in your organization. “
Nannette L. DiMascio
Practitioner NLP, ENLP, CEH
BA, Grad Studies: Psychology, UNLV
INTERVIEWER – Will your methods or advice work in any area and for anyone?
In the The Secret of Creating Your Future® Program, in the NLP Coaching Practitioner training, we utilize techniques from Time Line Therapy® and neurolinguistic programming (NLP). Time Line Therapy® has a track record of producing results with people of all backgrounds, all lifestyles and all experiences.
This program will work for you especially if you are capable, however stuck person, because of your low self-esteem and want to get unstuck and productive fast.
It will absolutely work for you if you are clear there is more to life than your current problems allow you to see, and are willing to take action when you return home to move through the areas in which you are currently stuck
It will certainly work for you if you want freedom, power and the ability to be fully self-expressed in your life and you are ready to allow a highly skilled NLP Coaching trainer who is 100% committed to you – to show you how to do it!
This is an extraordinary, original, no nonsense coaching approach …Yes, during the NLP Coaching Practitioner Training and also during the weekend we coach you and we’ll do it together right there, to transform your blockages into resources such that when we’re done you will be motivated and you will know how to take massive action where in the past you have been stuck.
Just know something important: You will make things happen during this weekend or during NLP Practitioner Program in seven days of training- because we’ll put the power back into your hands!
We will put the power back into your hands
And you will feel it!
INTERVIEWER – How much experience does a person need to Overcome low self esteem?
Having good self-esteem is also the ticket to making good choices about your mind and body. If you think you’re important, you’ll be less likely to follow the crowd if your friends are doing something stupid or dangerous. If you have good self-esteem, you know that you’re smart enough to make your own decisions. You value your safety, your feelings, your health â€” your whole self! Good self-esteem helps you know that every part of you is worth caring for and protecting.
You heard the example we gave you one moment ago: Nanette had only 7 days during the NLP Coaching Practitioner Training to learn the techniques. This is the beauty of learning these techniques and processes. After the training you can do them on your own and you don’t need to struggle anymore.
You don’t need to have any experience as a psychologist or MD, or health care provider – that is not to say that we don’t have health care providers who come to learn our NLP Coaching techniques. But anybody can learn this. People from all walks of life use the processes we teach, to improve their self esteem and to assist others to improve their self esteem.
Imagine this: you have a child that is having problems with his or her self-esteem. How would you like to be capable of assisting your child to change that and instead of a defeated adult, not capable of ever expressing himself or herself and being completely free of this burden, you could have a child who can become a respected, successful and self-confident business-man or business-woman.
INTERVIEWER – Can you provide some real-life examples of other people who have followed your advice?
One of our graduates, her name is Jennifer (name changed for reasons of privacy) â€¦and she has come to the weekend seminar first, to The Secret of Creating Your Future® Program, and at that point in her life she was abusedâ€¦
She was in a very abusive marriageâ€¦
Actually she was in the second abusive marriage because she created a pattern because of her low self esteem she created a pattern in her life. And she had no job, she was totally dependent on her husband, and she had one autistic son. And after the weekend, she somehow got inspired, and she said: “You know what, I am done with this, I don’t want to continue this life as it is, this is a terrible life, I just don’t want to do it anymore. And thenshe came [to us] and said: “I need to learn this, I need to learn this for myself and I need to make the change in my life becauseâ€¦
Out of care for her children tooâ€¦
Absolutely, she was a very devoted mother â€¦.and so she came in and she took her NLP Practitioner and she learned how to self-coach her blockages so she can break through that, and she could change that. And then she went home and as a result of thatâ€¦ I’ll cut the whole story short â€¦.as a result of that she has managed to become a [business] consultant in a company, opening her own business â€¦ She has stepped out of that abusive relationship and she has coached her son to step out of that autistic pattern, and from a special school in a matter of two years he went back to a normal school, part of the normal life of a child development.
Now that is priceless, to be capable of doing something like this in one’s lifeâ€¦ And this woman has become so empowered – from a victim she has taken all the power back in her own hands and she has changed her life tremendously.
So, if she’s done it, so can you!
END OF PART 1
In Part 2 of this interview Tad and Adriana share a simple process that, if done correctly, could assist in destroying the pattern of Low Self Esteem.