Do you have goals for your future or are you going where life takes you? In Time Line Therapy® section of Creating Your Future®, we are clear how to set goals that actually come true.
If you do have goals (which you should) you must begin in your mind. Get clarity in your mind about what you want. Most people are clear about what they don’t want any more in their life, but not very clear about what they want instead.
So, take at least 30 minutes’ worth to answer this two questions.
- What is it that I don’t want any more in life?
- What do I want instead? Most people fall short of being clear in their mind at this point. Now ask it again and again until you are really tapping into what you really want. Now, here is the idea: you keep going with answering this question until you have stripped away any “should” or “must” or “try to”. It is important to set goals for yourself not for your partner or children. And oh! Please do not “want-to-want” something. So you understand what I mean, here is an example: I know that broccoli is good for me so I “want-to-want” to eat more broccoli but in reality I hate the taste. Deep down, I hate it. But I “want-to-want” to eat it because it is good for me. This does not work.
I believe it’s virtually impossible to achieve your goals even if you work hard if first you are not sure what you want – what you don’t want does not count towards the fulfillment of future goals.
Goals Begin In Your Mind
Here is a little process you can do (it comes from Time Line Therapy® techniques).
Get yourself into a good OK state, one in which you can think freely and in a relaxed way. This is a state of mind in which you can focus on your goals and are not disturbed by the phone or social media or family. Maybe you have a place where you can go that is quiet – if so go there.
Check that the goal that you are considering is within your control that it does not depend on anyone else for you to achieve it. For that reason it is likely to be in the category of skills that you would like to develop or the kind of person that you wish to become or a purpose in life that you want to fulfill.
Imagine a time in the future when you would like to have achieved this. What date is it? This year? Next year? In a few months? Be precise with a date. Imagine that time and imagine yourself in that time. Step into that time and stand in the accomplishment of that goal. Feel how good it feels when you have achieved this goal. When you have accomplished it successfully. Imagine it with full detail.
As you stand in the successful accomplishment of your goal, explore it from your own eyes and ears and feelings. In other words, be in your body at that time (do not see yourself in the picture, look through your own eyes). What do you see? What do you hear? What do you feel? Is there anything that would make this experience even more satisfying for you? If there is then change that future memory so it encompasses everything you think of being necessary.
Make it very realistic and feel how good it feels to have that successful accomplishment. Remember this is done in your imagination so you can do it without worries that it may not come true. Just play along. Make it “the best” experience for you now.
One of our friends bought a piece of land in the mountains and is having a cabin built over there. The cabin is only in the planning phases but before he begun, he went to his land and physically stood there imagining himself in the finished cabin. He even took pictures and brought them with him home so he can look at these pictures and imagine the project completed and how good it feels when it will be done.
Still there, in the future date, think of all significant people in your life. Your partner, your family members, maybe even close friends. Notice how proud they are of you. Ask yourself: is there anything that you need to do so that you make it a win for them as much as it is a win for you?
Maybe there are no other family members people involved in your goal – maybe it is just yours and that’s also OK
- Ask yourself what will the accomplishment of this goal do for you? Is it a step toward other goals? If so, write these down so you can remember them.
As you imagine yourself having achieved the goal think back to the steps that you took to this point of achievement. What were those steps? What specifically did you have to do to get there? What was the first step on your journey that set the momentum going?
Once you get clear, write these steps down.
Now decide on a detail of this future accomplishment picture you have in your mind, so you can remember it easily. Maybe there is an image or a sound or a touch that can enable you to recall that successful future memory whenever you choose. Decide what you want it to be. Be clear and specific.
Now step out of that great accomplishment image in the future, see your body left in that picture, (this is very important – make sure you see yourself in that picture) and come back to the present. If you forget to put yourself in the picture, you literally are not in the picture and that’s not what you want.
Now, what is the first step that you have to take? Look at your list, it must be there. If it’s not, decide what is the first step to get the ball rolling.
And here is a big question you need to be honest about: are you willing do that? Are you willing to commit to this whole project? Are you willing to start the ball rolling or are you just saying you want it?
Remember the first step is the one that will begin the process and will move you in the direction of achieving your goal. Are you willing to take action in this direction? If you’re not, then do not complain that your goal is not happening.
Next ask yourself do you know how to proceed? You may have to find more information if you are not sure how to proceed. Then decide who you are going to talk to, to find the information you need and the advice necessary.
Write this down on a piece of paper.
What’s the next step after that?
Write this down on a piece of paper.
Keep going until a plan becomes clear in your mind as to how to proceed and you know the steps you need to take.
Now you have to take action!
Until next time, be well.