Anger, Sadness, Fear… The Untold truth About Negative Emotions They Don’t Want You to Know
You’ve been told that once you have anger, there is nothing you could do, but maybe anger management. But that alone is a double edge sword, so using this may help…
You may be one of those people who have experienced anger outbursts in the past…. Everything seems to be fine and all of a sudden you get angry and blow up. Or maybe you’re feeling resentment towards a certain person or situation… or maybe you are in a set of circumstances and you’re irritated, but you have it pretty well under control and you put on a polite smile and a socially acceptable behavior BUT ….all of a sudden it comes out! It blurts out of you without your conscious control.
Afterwards you feel guilty, or angry with yourself – Why did I do that? What’s the point? I could have handled it differently? What just happened?
The time frame from totally in control until everything blurts out in an uncontrollable negative emotion, is far too short! It is an instant!
Being free from your negative emotions is one of the most important actions you can take to optimize your mind and body-health. Unfortunately, it is also one of the most neglected areas in many people’s lives.
In school we’re not trained to pay attention to our negative emotions. In fact we’re told “Be Positive!” Negative emotions are not even acceptable in polite society. Nevertheless we all experience them from time to time. For some people “from time to time” means daily!
Carrying around negative emotions is just one of those things you get used to; most people don’t even know that there is something they can do. Many think that it is shameful to admit having negative emotions, or think that it is a sign of weakness, and many have a lot of excuses.
But many also fall into a self-defeating pattern of thinking there’s nothing they can do. This is the way I am, they say. Get used to it! Or this is the way I am, a no-good person. Get used to it!
Whatever your thinking about negative emotions may be, I’m sure by the time you finish this article you may be ready to change your opinion….
The video above is a simple demonstration of a technique developed by Dr. Tad James. We teach it as part of our NLPCoaching Trainings. It is called Time Line Therapy®. And it is a simple, easy technique that allows you to let go of negative emotions like anger, sadness, fear, hurt and guilt and of limiting decisions like “I am not good enough”, or “I can’t have a great relationship”.
Can I do it? You Bet! But do you want to?
There were once doubts about people’s ability to change their internal state (that is your internal emotional state). When you feel a certain way, what can you do, right?
But in the last … hmmm… about 30 years, Time Line Therapy® has been proven to be effective at assisting people to completely let go of their feelings of anger, sadness, fear, and many other negative emotions.
It is a very safe and easy technique. It works with the client’s active imagination, utilizing a process that is already happening naturally in the mind. Time Line Therapy® automates this process and makes it possible every single time.
It Works Every Time?
Yes. Every time, when the client agrees to let go of the negative emotions. I’ll get to that in a moment, but first let’s see why bother with this subject of negative emotions at all?
Time Line Therapy® does not make people into unfeeling robotic zombies and does not force anybody to change anything they don’t want to change. So, let’s be clear: if you expect that Time Line Therapy® will take from you your anger in spite of you wanting to be angry on an old foe, you’re mistaken. Your cooperating in agreeing to let go of the negative emotions is required.
But if you want to let go of your negative emotions, then the process becomes easy and it works every time.
When they’re done with the process people usually describe themselves as feeling:
Like a weight has been taken off their shoulders
Life has meaning again
Feeling better in general about themselves
In one of the last trainings, we had one student who complained that Time Line Therapy® does not work for her. This was bizarre, since the rest of the training participants all had success and felt good as a result of being free of their fears, anger, sadness, or frustration – what have you!
We talked to her a little only to find out that she had no intention of letting go of her anger. She was adamant that it keeps her energized… Well, hello! I just said that Time Line Therapy® does not force you to do anything you don’t want to do!
So, if you want to keep your negative emotions, go right ahead! One day you will have enough, and you will say: that’s it! I am sick and tired of feeling bad. I am done! And, once you do Time Line Therapy®, that’s the point where you will begin to be free of all your old unresolved “stuff”.
You’re Never Too Old to Feel Good about Yourself!
We spend our lives feeling “not good” about ourselves. If we only were taller, blonder, smarter, younger, thinner, if we only were born in another family, in another economic time, if we only had the inner power of that person, or the other one….
What is this?
Why do we do this to ourselves? Why do we crave so much appreciation from others but we never get enough to feel good about who we are? What is missing inside or what is present in our thinking that makes us feel bad about ourselves, even if we do this only at times?
When we’re born, we don’t feel inadequate that we wear diapers and our behinds look too big as we toddle along in our parent’s living room. We don’t think “Oh, I am really not good enough today!”
The Remarkable Emotional and Mental-Health Benefits of Time Line Therapy®
Let’s take anger as an example. It is a common human emotion.
Although Anger Management is a solution, is only a temporary one. In many cases it acts like a band aid. Knowing your anger, being aware of what makes you angry or identifying the specific triggers that make you blow up is an important step. Nevertheless, that alone is not getting rid of your anger. Negative emotions seem to pop up in an instant, and your conscious decision to “never do that again” does not have time to kick in. This is because your response is unconscious. In other words, it does not depend to your conscious volition.
The negative emotions from the past are not gone. They are stored in the memories of your cells, in your body. They may not be present in your thinking all the time (and that’s lucky!), but they’re still there! They are present at the Unconscious Level, that is to say, many times outside of your conscious control. This is why you blow up, or get frightened or sad without any apparent reason.
Time Line Therapy® offers a milestone solution to people’s negative emotions and limiting decisions and beliefs about themselves. After a Time Line Therapy® session, your negative emotions or limiting decisions and limiting beliefs will be gone. So gone, you will never think of them again!
I worked once with a 78 years old lady, who was ill at the time. And by doing Time Line Therapy® we were hoping to make her feel better, and to be more positive about her ability to heal. She had anger from the past events and a lot of fear. We worked together, and after letting go of anger, she denied to ever having it, even though before we started she kept talking about how angry she was in certain events from her past.
She said “You know, Adriana, I actually have never been angry” Isn’t that great? Anger was so “gone” that she did not even remember having it! And no, she was not senile! But, now she did not have to carry with her for how many years she still had to live the heavy emotional load on these past memories.
Don’t get me wrong. The memories were still there.
Time Line Therapy® Does Not Take Away Your Memories
Let’s be realistic. Nobody denies that bad things have happened to you in the past. Bad things happen to everybody. It is normal in the process of living. And it is also normal to feel angry, or sad, or frightened, or guilty, or hurt. These are normal human emotions. But what would be the point to feel those emotions on events that happened 20 years ago?
Do you think it serves you to still be resentful toward a school colleague that bullied you when you were 10? What about being really angry on an old “Ex”? You know, that person that you loved very much and they treated you poorly? Do you think that still being resentful you’re paying them back? Do you think these people have any idea that you still feel bad, after all this time?
Then why do you do it?
Here is why: because these memories carry with them something unresolved for you. And what is unresolved are the negative emotions you experienced at that time. And this emotional heaviness still present on those memories can disappear.
At a meta-level, it is not by the presence of negative emotions that you develop new ways of dealing with life; it is by the learnings and the meanings you ascribe to those events, learnings associated with the Time Line Therapy® process that you develop new strategies and protect yourself from similar events, so you react better and are more prepared to face life’s challenges.
Carrying around all your old feelings of frustration, apathy, dissatisfaction, rolling your eyes when something is happening again that makes you feel “icky” and putting up with it every time, is only going to take a toll on your emotional and mental health.
Are you performing better your daily tasks (at work or at home) if you’re in good mood? Do you feel healthier and more cheerful when you don’t experience negative emotions?
These are rhetorical questions, anyway. It is pointing out the obvious! And yet, if all of these are true… what’s holding you back?
Many people put up with feeling bad and don’t even know that the underlying cause of their underperformance is what they carry unconsciously inside: all the past negative emotions experienced and also all the limiting decisions about themselves. They are in a self-perpetuating loop, without an exit.
But after doing Time Line Therapy®, you actually set in motion a beneficial feedback loop that leads to even greater level of mental and emotional health. As you remove the emotional chains of negative emotions accumulated in your body’s memory from the past events, you have an easier time dealing with anything life throws at you. And once you experience the freedom of past unresolved negative emotions and you begin to let go of your limiting beliefs and decisions about your own capabilities, life becomes all of a sudden, much better.
Anyone Can Incorporate This Amazing, Efficient and Effective Technique in Their Weekly Routine
Being free of negative emotions is easy.
No, we’re not talking here about being dissociated, or not paying attention to them. We’re not talking here about being in denial.
In one of our Time Line Therapy® Master Practitioner training, a man in his 50’s said “I don’t have any negative emotions!” Wow! This person was either enlightened or in denial. So we asked: “Have you ever ben angry in your life? “
“Of course!” he said. “I was once really mad because I had to fight the telephone company for a bill that wasn’t mine! That made me so angry! It wasn’t my fault. But as I think of it now, I am not angry anymore”
“Well, why don’t you go back to that memory in your mind and step back in your body at that time, and tell us, do you still feel those emotions?”
“Yeah!” he said. “Big time! It wasn’t my fault! And they treated me like I was not willing to pay my bills. I am still very angry!”
This is a very good example of negative emotions stored in the body, but not in consciousness all the time. So as you can see, it is not that he experienced that old “being mad” all the time, nevertheless it was still there.
Why Make These Changes Today?
Here is an extreme example. Using Time Line Therapy® techniques, several of our graduates in the US and the UK are working with ex-service personnel, people plagued emotionally by the horrors they experienced. For example The Warrior Programme in the UK is very successful in restoring self-esteem and re-building confidence and dignity. It benefits anyone suffering from depression, anxiety and increased levels of stress. The people running this program are our graduates from our Time Line Therapy® trainings.
Since the reason for your increased stress are unresolved negative emotions at the unconscious level, once they’re gone your whole body and health – indeed must – change to the better.
Since this is the case, and literally thousands of people have used it successfully (Time Line Therapy® has been around for more than 30 years) … what are you waiting for?
About Adriana James
Adriana James M.A., Ph.D. is a Certified Master Trainer of Neuro Linguistic Programming, Master Time Line Therapy® Trainer, Hypnosis Trainer and NLPCoaching Trainer. She is the author of the book Time Line Therapy® Made Easy, an introduction to Time Line Therapy® techniques easy to master by everyone. To read more about Adriana go here.